Alexa

When I found out I had MRKH it was quite a process. I don’t remember every detail because I have blocked out a lot of it. But I was 16 and I still hadn’t gotten my period. I felt weird and left out about that. I always thought my time would come, until it didn’t.

In the summer going into my junior year of high school my doctor recommended my mother a specialist for me to go to since it was weird that I hadn’t gotten my period and he was concerned. This doctor ordered me a pelvic ultrasound. In my next appointment the doctor explained to me and my mother the results. She told me that I had been born without a uterus and she explained MRKH to me. I felt like someone was talking gibberish to me. I think I just zoned out. So much information was getting thrown at me and I didn’t understand any of it. I remember I was in my school uniform ready to go to school right after my appointment and I couldn’t. I just started crying. I was so overwhelmed and confused. I didn’t understand what was going on. I felt like my world was going upside down. I remember one of the first things my mom told me was not to tell anyone. She is a very protective and private person. She didn’t want me to get hurt by anyone. But doing this hurt me in the long run. I kept it a secret for about 2 years. I just ignored that I had it. I never even researched it. I just went on with my life. Sometimes I would forget I even had MRKH.

At the end of my senior year of high school there was a retreat, I told some friends about my MRKH there. I cried so much that day. All those pent-up emotions were finally coming out. The summer after I graduated from high school was when I had my surgery to create my vaginal canal. I went with the surgery option because I wasn’t given much of a choice. I was never recommended to dilate first. I didn’t even know that was an option until I started talking to other girls with MRKH who dilated. Although I was not given the choice, I don’t regret my surgery. It was a very hard time in my life, but it all worked out in the end.

I didn’t start researching more about MRKH until a few years ago. I started following Instagram pages and Facebook groups. I found Stars on Instagram and loved what they are all about. I did a writing piece for the page and after that I joined the writing team. I love being a part of something and sharing my experience with other MRKHers. I am always growing in my journey, but I am happy to say that I have come to terms with my diagnosis and it no longer makes me feel like I’m any less. I am stronger for it, and I understand that now. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I know that I have the support system to get through whatever comes to me.